Sexy Kiss: The Epic Guide to How to Be a Sexy Kisser

the sexy kiss. What exactly is a sexy kiss?
Is it a French kiss? Rub your nose? Butterfly kisses? A form of making out? Tongue tangling, mouth to mouth, erogenous zone kissing, spitting, lip sucking, tonsil dueling, passionate, seductive, foreplay, flirtatious or even orgasmic ?

Well, maybe you can't explain what a sexy kiss is, or all the components that go into a great kiss, but you will know when you have one.

We've put together this epic tutorial of tips for you on how to give the best sexy kiss and how to explore sexy kisses to make you a better lover!

Brief history of the sexy kiss

Humans are one of the only animals to kiss (except chimpanzees and bonobos) and to express love and sexual arousal through kisses. However, studies suggest that romantic kissing is by no means universal among humans, and more than half of the world's cultures do not practice "lip-to-lip kissing"[1].

So where do kisses come from? How and where did it evolve? Why do we even kiss in the first place?

Culturally, a kiss can express many things including friendship, greeting, affection, respect, love, devotion, romance, excitement, passion, sexual attraction, or be a sexual activity in and of itself. Other times a kiss can be part of a ritual "indicating devotion, respect or sacrament".[2]

While some anthropologists think kissing evolved to control a female's fertility through her saliva, others believe it was just an instinctive practice and we learned to do it by sucking. Still others believe that kissing is simply a learned behavior.[3] In another study, smell seemed to take a big place when it came to kiss preference, and since we humans have a poor sense of smell, kissing may have evolved as a way to smell our potential partner's genes. in order “evaluate aspects of a potential mate's suitability.”[4]

While we don't know exactly when kissing became a thing, the oldest recorded evidence comes from 3,500 years ago, written in Sanskrit Vedic Hindu texts where exhaled breath was believed to be part of the soul, so kissing was "the union of two souls." [5] The Kama Sutra (6th century CE) also describes many types of kisses (over 250 kiss references) including the pulsating kiss, the brushing kiss, the inviting kiss (to entice one's lover), the touching kiss (to ignite his passion) and the awakening kiss.[6]

Some anthropologists believe that Alexander the Great brought kisses to Greece after he invaded India (326 BC). But kissing didn't become popular in the Western world until the time of the Roman Empire, where kissing was used to pay homage to the emperor, as a form of greeting, and romantically (savolium) known as a "deep kiss."

What happens when we swap the spit?
Kissing creates erotic chemicals or endorphins in the brain including oxytocin (which gives us a feeling of affection and bonding), dopamine (plays a role in how we experience pleasure), serotonin (which affects our mood and feelings of well-being and happiness) and adrenaline (making our heart beat faster), which together make us feel euphoric.

If you still can't get enough of kissing, read on to discover some sexy kissing games you can play with your partner or friends with perks for fun and foreplay.

This is why we have a fascination for sexual kissing in the first place!

And perhaps this is the very reason why the erotic kiss has evolved. Like masturbation, it was just good!

It makes sense to me.

What makes a kiss sexy?
While the answer can be pretty objective, since everyone has their own preferences as to what makes a kiss hot and sexy, there are a few kissing rules you should follow.

Dr. Ava Cadell notes that there are 10 kissing rules you should know before making out with a potential partner, especially for the first time. Here is her list of things NOT to do if you want to give them a sexy kiss. ~From Dr. Ava Cadell's Kissing Rules.[8]

No Forcing: Don't kiss someone unexpectedly without first getting consent. This could be the verbal agreement "Mmm... I want to kiss you", or via body language: she is leaning towards you with her mouth pursed for a kiss. I say, go for it!
No Judgment: Never criticize your partner's kissing technique. However, you can praise the things you like to get them to do more and less of what you might not like.
Don't push your tongue - play it nice. Sticking your tongue down someone's throat is not only disgusting, it feels like forcing. Tonsillar hockey is a sport best left on the ice.
No bites - be careful when using your teeth. While a little soft, playful nipping is usually fine, biting down can really hurt! Ouch!
No Hickeys: Be considerate and don't leave a hickey unrequested.

Now that you know what NOT to do when kissing, here are our tips on how to be a sexy kisser.

Timing is everything: initiating a kiss at the wrong time can be a disaster, but at the right time, her happiness. How do you know the right time? Check out their body language, baby! Are they leaning on you? Soulful (or lustfully) starring in your eyes? Lip licking? These are all unmistakable signs that they want to kiss. Then, get closer and stare into their eyes, then look at their lips. If they don't pull away, it's probably time for a sexy kiss.
If you're not sure, ask: If for some reason you're not good at reading body language cues, ask. Say something like, "I really want to kiss you right now." They will most likely be flattered and agree. If not, maybe they just weren't interested in you at first. Best to find out before you kiss them and embarrass yourself while creeping them out in the process.
Don't look: While looking soulfully into their eyes is nice before kissing, staring closely at them as they kiss in close range can be a little, well, weird. So, if you like to watch while kissing, do it through veiled lids and a soft gaze or close your eyes altogether. Unless the other person also makes eye contact during kissing, then, hey, whatever floats your boat.
No Tongue: As a tongue rule (sorry!), don't use yours within the first second of kissing. Keep that tongue in your mouth and brush your lips against theirs so gently at first to gauge their reaction. Slowly build up the kissing pressure and eventually you can part your lips slightly and touch the tip of your tongue to their lip. If they follow the streak, then the game continues. But if they don't respond to your tongue by offering theirs, better keep it in their mouth for now. If they want language, delaying it will increase their response when they finally get it.
Go slow: sexy kissing is not a contest. There is no finish line… well, not exactly. Take your time, go slow, build passion gradually. Experiment, try different techniques, ways of kissing and types of kisses. Change it up and learn what it likes. You'll know when they start moaning that you're doing it right. Mmm...!
Mirror their movements: Follow your partner's lead or allow them to follow yours as you kiss, so you mirror each other's movements. This makes the kiss more like a seductive dance, where you follow each other's erotic dance moves. There's nothing worse when she's trying to waltz while he's jive.
Be present: erase everything from your mind except that kiss. Let go of fears, worries, what you were doing an hour ago or what you might do next. Be present, because it's easy to tell when someone is distracted during a kiss. And, there's nothing so off-putting, as you basically tell them, it's not worth taking the time to focus on them during the kiss. Not only that, but by truly embodying (getting out of your head and into your body) the kiss helps you feel more bliss and endorphins, as well as being more able to feel their passion and respond to it on a deeper erotic level.
Use your hands: Yeah, duh!, I know. Needless to say, touch them, hold them, feel them, move them, while giving them your sexy kiss! Cradle the back of their head, run your fingertips through their hair and over their ears, lips, jawline and neck. Then, if he likes it, try other sexier areas to touch: lower back, buttocks, breasts, chest, waist.
Erogenous zones: all those places I just mentioned for touching with hands, following with lips, kissing and tongue. And don't forget the collarbone. Yes...it's all right!
Take a break: is the kiss starting to lose passion? Are your lips sore or tired? Are you feeling a little uncomfortable? No problem, take a break. A sexy kiss doesn't have to be a marathon. Leave something to be desired. You can always come back to it later!

Types of sexy kisses
Did you know that in the 17th century, a German scholar named Martin von Kempe wrote a 1,040-page encyclopedia on 20 different types of kisses, including lustful and adulterous kissing. The German language has 30 words that refer to different types of kisses, including Nachkuss, which means "to compensate for kisses that have not been given". Whoa! That's a lot of kisses!

“The average American woman is estimated to have kissed 79 men before getting married; more than 92% of Americans committed to kissing before the age of 14; and husbands who regularly kiss their wives live an average of five years longer than those who do not".[9]

Here are 19 types of sexy kisses from playful and sensual to erotic and passionate:

The Playful Kiss: A Playful Kiss is cute, loving, playful, silly, and "right now," showing affection.

Hand kissing: Hand kissing was a chivalrous kiss from the 1800s, when a gentleman kissed the back of a woman's hand to show respect, courtesy, and extreme kindness. Today, it is used as a romantic gesture to kiss your girlfriend goodnight after a date.

Nose kissing: Also known as an "Eskimo kiss," nose kissing is a gentle, loving kiss where you rub your noses together to show affection.

The butterfly kiss: The butterfly kiss is when someone brushes or flutters their eyelashes against the other person's face, cheek or skin.

The Sensual Kiss: A sensual kiss is a longer, lingering kiss that uses their sense of taste and licking to arouse their lover's body.

The Romantic Kiss: A romantic kiss can be anywhere, but a place like a warm beach helps enhance the ambiance.

The earlobe kiss: The earlobe kiss is a very sensual kiss, with the earlobe being a hot erogenous zone, and is performed by sucking or nibbling the earlobe.

The lower lip kiss: The lower lip kiss is when you suck on your lover's lower lip between yours, which is very hot and feels great.

The French kiss: French kissing is kissing with tongues, sometimes called a "Florentine kiss" in France or an "English kiss."

The Licking or Lizard Kiss: A Licking or Lizard Kiss uses much more tongue action with dueling or flickering tongues.

The Spiderman Kiss: This is an upside down kiss popularized by the movie Spiderman. You can do this lying down with the faces reversed and facing each other for a truly unique sensation.

The lip biting kiss: The biting or biting kiss uses love bites or soft, gentle bites usually on the lower lip or other parts of the body.

The Passionate Kiss: Passionate kissing gets the juices flowing and ignites those brain chemicals so the lovers get caught up in the act of kissing and nothing else.

Necking: Necking is an erotic kiss of the neck and pulse points, a very sensitive and erogenous area for kissing.

The Make Out Kiss: Make Out Kissing happens on the bed, in the car, the kitchen table, anywhere, and is often a spontaneous arousal that leads to passionate kissing and kissing.

The Frenzied Kiss: The Frenzied Kiss is the must-have-you-now kind of kiss, without holding back, let's take off our clothes and have sex.

The Hickey Kiss: Also mentioned above, you may want to get permission before leaving the telltale marks of this kiss on someone's neck. It involves intense sucking that leaves a purple bruise.

The Vampire Kiss: This kiss is a more intense version of the hickey kiss, which involves using your teeth on your neck and biting down gently (don't break the skin) while sucking madly like you're hungry.

The Spit Kiss Exchanged: I know I said above that drooling in your partner's mouth is disgusting, but you can still trade some spit with each other, as spit contains testosterone and increases dopamine, which increases excitement, libido and pleasure.